Thursday, October 27, 2011

COMING SOON How to Draw Horses Book.. (+ a dead deer.)

Please note... if you are the sort of person who is easily offended or squeamish... you should probably skip this post. (If you are any sort of person of class, you should probably skip this blog altogether.)

We are blessed with 2 dogs that are, on the whole, and bear in mind when I say this that I have so far endured 5 years in the illustration world, the most colossal freaking morons ever.

To avoid the inevitable angry letters I am going to get, please do not mistake my dogs for yours. I'm sure your dogs are the most gifted hounds ever. I'm sure they routinely perform delicate brain sugary and are capable of filing US tax forms and landing the space shuttle. I am talking about my dogs here. My dogs have a single, solitary brain cell each. Just the one - to keep the other brain cell company.

And using their impressive intellectual capacities... they routinely bring us the benefits of their mental and physical labors right into the yard. This week, it was a deer. Actually, that fact isn't really surprising. I live in rural North Dakota, so every ten feet there’s a sign warning motorists that there are deer. The signs are so prevalent that you don’t even notice them anymore, and they serve no purpose at all, unless you’re suddenly new to the existence of deer... which I am not. I am, however, new to the smell a deer carcass can make.

Me: Uuuugh! WTF is that smell?!

Rocko: Oh, the dogs drug up a deer.

Me: What?

Rocko: Yeah. Parts of him are over there, and I think his skull-bits are over by the south yard.

Me: What do you mean parts of him?

Rocko: He died about a week ago. Guess it takes a while for a dead deer to really start to smell.

Me: Rocko, when a deer is dead, it can no longer smell. Smelling is a sensory operation reserved for the living. Also. Seriously. A week? You are freakin' unbelievable right now.

Rocko said he couldn’t argue with that, but I suspect it’s less because of my sound logic and more because he’s perfectly aware of how these disagreements end. (Also... I need to google how to burn a shovel.)

In other news that is probably equally shocking, but not quite so grotesque, the How to Draw Horses book is coming out soon. Get ready to order 84 pages of awesome!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

OWLS!


I have been told that I am a wee bit over excited about the fact that I have owls in the tree rows. At least, I think that's what Rocko said... I couldn't hear him over how AWESOME the owls are.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

How to Draw Horses Tutorial


I am a very twisted sort of person who actually enjoys making tutorials. Here's one of them:


Monday, July 11, 2011

Nobody Thinks this is Funny but Me

On account of the fact that my cats never use birth control, (rumor has it, they're catholic,) I have been up many wee hours checking on kittens in an attempt to keep my stupid dog from playing with them until they are, um, not well. I do my best. Calm down, PETA.

And thanks to intense sleep deprivation, not all stupid-dog related, I have been rambling about with these sorts of nonsensical cartoons which I think are hilarious, but leave Rocko to look at me with that sort of way he does when he wonders just how freakin' deep the dark closets in the mansion of my mind actually go.

Ignore Rocko.

This is funny.

You know that's true, because I put it on the internet.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Spring.exe not Found for ND -


It's May 1, and we're getting over a blizzard that knocked out power for more than 30,000 people. Stranded motorists, 60 mph winds, trees toppled over on cars... it's a great day for the department of tourism to be sure.

And on that same note, brave whatever weather happens to be abounding from the syphilitic mind that comes up with the sort of climatic conditions ND is subject to and come out to Richardton to see Dakota Cactus opening on May 13!

Also... my cats keep stealing my phone, and Apple, if you're watching, I might be the last person on the planet to not have an iPhone. You can fix that! *hint hint!!!*