Monday, April 19, 2010

New Machine, Freeware, and Emotional Closure

It is finally coming to pass. I didn't want it to happen. This is a very emotional time for all of us, I know, but there's no more use in fighting it. I've been in denial, and it's time to move on. I am talking, of course, about having to purchase a new computer.

I don't want to have to say goodbye! I've been patching this poor little gateway along since before I left high school. We have a relationship, a commitment, which has evolved over time, that some days, I take far more seriously than say, for example, wedding vows.

Oh sure, I might have said for richer or poorer, till death do us part, etc, but I think if we're honest, we all have a little spot in our brains that reminds us, 'Meh. You might change your mind.' The bond you have with your computer is permanent! It holds your tax software for God's sake!

Now, you may think my values a little twisted. How can I possibly be more committed to a tower of circuits - none of which have any feeling, or care for me - but you have to consider the larger picture. My husband may be a warm, loving, caring person, but he will never, ever, run Photoshop and iTunes simultaneously!!!

Which brings me to my second point, the fact that the folks who run Adobe are soul-less wankers. These discommodious jackanapes have a brilliant product, and they know it. To make a long story short, my entire package, all-be-it admittedly, CS2, is magically nonrenewable. Oh sure, it might be mine, purchased some time ago, but that doesn't matter to Adobe. They are running out with CS5, and you had better plunk out $2,000 on it, cuz Adobe is pretty sure if you don't, no one will ever shag you. And don't you even think of pleading for mercy, say, purchasing a CS3 package, true, it may be their product, a product they are proud of, unopened, and newer than new, but because they are, and I believe they told you this already, taking pre-orders for CS5.

This was the following conversation had:
Me: It's telling me my serial number is invalid.
Ass Who Will Remain Nameless: Yiiis. I am showing this to be an invalid serial number.
Me: But this is my software.
AWWRN: Adobe is currently taking upgrade orders, would you like to -
Me: NO! I just want to install my software.
AWWRN: Yiiiis. I am seeing that this is for a CS2 version. We are not currently servicing this product.
Me: I know it's for CS2, that's why we started this conversation!
AWWRN: *takes the time to repeat what Adobe is selling*
Me: *suggests they shove what Adobe is selling up one of their primary nasal passages.*

In the end, turns out, no matter what your problem, if your software isn't the system they're selling, the only fix is to buy an upgrade. To quote the church lady: [link]

So to make myself feel a little better, here are some links to some dandy freeware:
Paint = Sumopaint [link]
InDesign = Scribus [link]
Photoshop = Gimp [link]

Sure, you probably already knew about these, and yes, of course, I have no alternative to break down and get a new system and software, because you can rely on 3 things in this world. Death, taxes, and that the only solution, is to purchase an upgrade.