Owl Jointed Dolls and other reasons to be an artist

Because I'm sure this is the quickest way to get invited to swank parties in the Champagne region... a jointed owl doll.

It was one of those, "I HAVE TO MAKE THIS, NAOWAH!" type moments I am prone to having, for which I reserve the right to not have to explain to anyone.  When I look at him, I think of all the other productive things I needed to get done this week.  Time well spent, I think. 

I dunno how you put a price on this much awesome, but he is for sale.  He'll be on display at the Bismarck Art Gallery through the end of December.  Brilliant! (Want to see s'more pics of Iagan?  Click here to head to the 4Dog gallery.)

How To Draw Horses

Fo' realz!  It's out!  It's hitting bookshelves as we speak.  It's the only reason to get out of bed that I can think of.  How to Draw Horses - Everything you ever wanted to know about drawing horses, hardware, history, & mythology. Complete with clear, step-by-step instructions and information on costumes and armor from multiple periods in history from around the world. Anatomy and action, wagons and wedding coaches, it's all in this book!

And it's only $12.95.  Take two, they're small!  (It would be awesome if) ALREADY A MILLION COPIES SOLD! You can order a copy online via 4 Dog Arts, Amazon, Etsy, and several other fine retailers nationwide.  If they don't carry a copy in your local bookstore, demand it.  Nicely.  Want to order a copy and have it personalized?  Just say the word.  Need a third option here for closure?  I'm on it.

Seriously.  I thank you.  For real.

Lost Dog. Not Book Realted. Probably.

In a complete diversion of my attention, we found a new face in our yard this evening.  (If you were out hunting north of Richardton and lost your dog, fear not.)  I took the liberty of making up some lost-dog posters that Rocko says I should not show to anybody.  He is likely correct. 

The thing about dogs is, they're rather on the honor system.  I do my best.  Hope he sticks around. 

COMING SOON How to Draw Horses Book.. (+ a dead deer.)

Please note... if you are the sort of person who is easily offended or squeamish... you should probably skip this post. (If you are any sort of person of class, you should probably skip this blog altogether.)

We are blessed with 2 dogs that are, on the whole, and bear in mind when I say this that I have so far endured 5 years in the illustration world, the most colossal freaking morons ever.

To avoid the inevitable angry letters I am going to get, please do not mistake my dogs for yours. I'm sure your dogs are the most gifted hounds ever. I'm sure they routinely perform delicate brain sugary and are capable of filing US tax forms and landing the space shuttle. I am talking about my dogs here. My dogs have a single, solitary brain cell each. Just the one - to keep the other brain cell company.

And using their impressive intellectual capacities... they routinely bring us the benefits of their mental and physical labors right into the yard. This week, it was a deer. Actually, that fact isn't really surprising. I live in rural North Dakota, so every ten feet there’s a sign warning motorists that there are deer. The signs are so prevalent that you don’t even notice them anymore, and they serve no purpose at all, unless you’re suddenly new to the existence of deer... which I am not. I am, however, new to the smell a deer carcass can make.

Me: Uuuugh! WTF is that smell?!

Rocko: Oh, the dogs drug up a deer.

Me: What?

Rocko: Yeah. Parts of him are over there, and I think his skull-bits are over by the south yard.

Me: What do you mean parts of him?

Rocko: He died about a week ago. Guess it takes a while for a dead deer to really start to smell.

Me: Rocko, when a deer is dead, it can no longer smell. Smelling is a sensory operation reserved for the living. Also. Seriously. A week? You are freakin' unbelievable right now.

Rocko said he couldn’t argue with that, but I suspect it’s less because of my sound logic and more because he’s perfectly aware of how these disagreements end. (Also... I need to google how to burn a shovel.)

In other news that is probably equally shocking, but not quite so grotesque, the How to Draw Horses book is coming out soon. Get ready to order 84 pages of awesome!

Dental Day

I was recently part of the dental day event held on the Spirit Lake Reservation. I was part of the event because, quite obviously, the people of Spirit Lake are open minded and friendly, and clearly do not follow this blog. It has to be said that it wasn't really their fault. I went along with 2 very fierce and qualified ladies, Victoria and Shelia, who should also not have the fact that I was in their party held against them.

We stayed with a team of other people and met with the most organized, caring hobbits it has ever been my pleasure to meet. How Libby and Mike Flowers achieve what they do with what they have to work with should be researched by NASA scientists. I'm not sure that they are from this planet... in fact, I'm not sure any of the volunteers that day were. These people are the Navy Seals of humanitarians. And the kids were tough. Amazingly tough! These kids made Rambo look like Mr. Rogers.


The totals were 232 children seen and $107,701 worth of dental care provided. 268 fillings, 254 sealants, and 69 steel crowns were completed. But I don't know if you can put a price on a smile.

OWLS!

I have been told that I am a wee bit over excited about the fact that I have owls in the tree rows. At least, I think that's what Rocko said... I couldn't hear him over how AWESOME the owls are.

Horse Power Tutorial

more horses - woo!

How to Draw Horses Tutorial

I am a very twisted sort of person who actually enjoys making tutorials. Here's one of them:

Nobody Thinks this is Funny but Me

On account of the fact that my cats never use birth control, (rumor has it, they're catholic,) I have been up many wee hours checking on kittens in an attempt to keep my stupid dog from playing with them until they are, um, not well. I do my best. Calm down, PETA.

And thanks to intense sleep deprivation, not all stupid-dog related, I have been rambling about with these sorts of nonsensical cartoons which I think are hilarious, but leave Rocko to look at me with that sort of way he does when he wonders just how freakin' deep the dark closets in the mansion of my mind actually go.

Ignore Rocko.

This is funny.

You know that's true, because I put it on the internet.

Spring.exe not Found for ND -

It's May 1, and we're getting over a blizzard that knocked out power for more than 30,000 people. Stranded motorists, 60 mph winds, trees toppled over on cars... it's a great day for the department of tourism to be sure.

And on that same note, brave whatever weather happens to be abounding from the syphilitic mind that comes up with the sort of climatic conditions ND is subject to and come out to Richardton to see Dakota Cactus opening on May 13!

Also... my cats keep stealing my phone, and Apple, if you're watching, I might be the last person on the planet to not have an iPhone. You can fix that! *hint hint!!!*

Dakota Cactus Gallery!

There's a new art game in town. Maybe you saw the ad in this month's Cowboy's and Indians. Maybe you've been keeping track here or over at 4dogarts.com. Maybe you are hopelessly lost and wish someone would find you - either way - welcome aboard and turn out for the Grand Opening May 13 in Richardton, North Dakota of the new art gallery, Dakota Cactus.

Also, and not completely unrelated, I have a step-by-step of how I paint in random fashion. This is from the latest Shots and Chasers:


shots and chasers step by step by ~sketcherjak on deviantART

Dakota Cactus

A gallery is opening up in Richardton, North Dakota, and you should make a point to see it.

Dakota Cactus, the perfect symbol for the awesomeness of art, is a collection of fine art, fabrics, furniture, fossils, and many other original, western things not even starting with 'F'. It is like some kind of artistic, uncontrollable metaphor that I wish I could come up with right now.

Opening soon! Stay tuned!

A bang in 2011

Higs boson walked into a church.
The priest says, "Hey. We don't allow Higs boson in here."
Higs says, "But without me, how can you have mass?"